it always resorts back to this, im always getting upset because my mom is somewhere else doing something else. im so tired of depending on others to do things for me. all i need is myself, and sam. the only one that seems to need me back.
i wish i was smarter than i am. im not nearly as intelligent as i want to be. stressed out about school, always, research paper alone.
can't wait for a job, to see sam, for a car, for money, for more clothes shoes accesories and ect, can't wait for fit or fidm, future im anxious to meet you :D
kim told me today how she likes me better than freshman and sophmore year and how much nicer i am, it made my day so much better. told ya im nice now
is when im expected to invite everyone all the time but when yall do something together and don't inivite me i can't get mad how i can be replaced so quickly how smoking is sooooooo coooolll when it makes you look like an idiot and fucks up your future how secrets are always floating
fuck dude PMS brings truth SMOKING IS STUPID ESPECIALLY IF YOU DON'T INHALE, I INVITE YOU SO YOU INVITE ME, I TELL YOU THINGS YOU TELL ME THINGS, RESPECT MY HOUSE AND ILL RESPECT YOURS, STOP EATING ALL OF THE FOOD IN MY HOUSE IT ISNT MINE, STEALING IS WRONG!!!!!!! ESP. IF YOU'RE RICH
i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know
ever since i've been here i've been nothing but sweet and kind-hearted to every fucking person i talk to, trying to keep up with everyone's lives. so what the fuck do i get in return? LISTEN TO ME ANYONE. i don't know where this agitated attitude came from, maybe because i'm so unhappy. im frustrated and i want to be held. i start crying and i don't know why. i feel fat and ugly most of the time. its a bitch to even shave and keep up with any sort of self maintenance. i have to pry feelings out of my best friend. you miss me? WHY? YOU WON'T EVEN TALK TO ME. but you want to swim in my pool right? what the hell. i feel used. i feel nothing. i ran and i still feel fat. i feel like a fat nothing. im a big bowl of pessimism. i have the longest to do list and all i want to do is grow up, get shit done, and go the fuck home.
what is wrong with me? i am at such an unhappy point in my life im scared, im disgusted with myself, im unhappy, im peeved, im tired, im listless.
